


Pandora's Box

by black_tea



Series: The Masks We Wear [8]
Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Estranged Relatives, Family Issues, In-Laws, M/M, Supportive Bill, The Ford's Unfortunate Parenting, alpha!Bill Tench, omega!Holden Ford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_tea/pseuds/black_tea
Summary: In an effort to better understand the increasingly difficult relationship with his mother, Holden reaches out to long estranged family members. Bill, meanwhile, has been harboring his own suspicions and is determined to get his mate to open up about his family and childhood. This leads to him finally meeting his in-laws.
Relationships: Holden Ford/Bill Tench
Series: The Masks We Wear [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803040
Comments: 14
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one I wrote the bulk of a while back and have been sitting on for awhile. I enjoy delving into Holden's past, since we get so very little of it on the show, and it's fun to flesh out his family a little more. However, with less canon to act as a guide, I'm also more nervous about posting stories like this. I hope you all enjoy it : )

Bill knocked on the door frame of Gunn's office. “Come in, go ahead and shut the door.”

He did as directed and sat down across from his boss, hoping there was no trouble. Gunn could go either way. He was ambitious, and that ambition could be a double edged sword. On one hand he was far more supportive of the BSU and their research than Shepard ever was. Bill had no doubt he would go to bat for them if he needed to. On the other, this interest meant that Gunn was far more aware of what was going on and more likely to exert pressure, if what he found displeased him.

Gunn, however, quickly put him at ease. “I have a little more information about the trip to Cedarville. This isn't going to last long. You and Holden need to help them get started, put together a profile, and they'll handle it from there. There's a chance you might get called back to help, but it won't be like Atlanta.”

“That shouldn't be a problem,” Bill replied, feeling relieved. Atlanta had been intense and come at a difficult time. He was in no hurry for a repeat.

“Between your experience and Holden's instincts, I'm sure you can keep them organized and on the right track.”

“Sir, can I ask you a question? It might sound odd.” Bill began, intrigued by Gunn's choice of words. It brought to mind the conversation back in Cincinnati regarding the possibility omegas could register things in their environment that betas and possibly alphas couldn't. This wasn't the first time Gunn brought up Holden's 'instincts', but there were instincts and there were _instincts._ With Gunn being a fellow alpha, he could be referring to either one. 

“Of course, Bill. Ask away.” He smiled genially, his scent calm.

_There are advantages to working for another alpha. Scent doesn't lie._ “When you mention Holden's instincts...which instincts do you mean? Hunches anyone can get, or the instincts related to his status?”

“You know it isn't polite to discuss a person's status in the workplace.” However, there was nothing chiding in his manner. Gunn seemed amused, if anything.

“Not that it matters, it's just...I was curious, that's all.” 

“To answer your question, I'm not sure. I have wondered how my own mate perceives the world around him, but it's difficult to describe something to someone who has no experience. You would have to ask Holden and see if he can explain things any better.”

_My own mate?_ Bill questioned, catching the particular phrasing. _Not 'my mate', but 'my own mate' as opposed to?_ He wondered if Gunn knew, and was subtly letting Bill know it. _Or maybe I'm just paranoid. It there was an actual problem, he wouldn't hesitate to say something. And if there isn't a problem, he'd want to be able to deny he knew anything should it come up – so he isn't going to say anything about it directly._

He set aside wondering what Ted Gunn might or might not know. “But you think it might have something to with differences between omegas and everyone else.” Bill gently pushed, genuinely intrigued.

“It's just conjecture, but it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. The problem is, there aren't enough omegas in positions that would showcase that kind of difference should it exist. What are instincts when you're filing documents or typing memos? There's undoubtedly a massive waste of talent that's been going on for a very long time, but it's hard to convince betas to change their views on hiring.” His expression became wry. “But seriously, ask him. He'll probably just look confused.”

* * *

He found Holden sitting with Wendy in the conference room with the thick file on the case, discussing and taking notes. He sat down and snagged a crime scene photo, studying it more closely this time. “What did Gunn have to say?” Holden asked. He smelled like he did when he was very focused on something. Not relaxed, but not excited or nervous either.

“That we'll only be there a few days. They're going to need help coming up with a profile and getting started. We won't be there to see it through to the end. Though they might call us back if the shit hits the fan, and they get stuck.”

“Good,” Wendy replied. “It's difficult when they have you gone all the time. This is an interesting case, though. He definitely has a clear type when it comes to victims.”

“But his hunting ground is large. I'd like to know how he's finding them.” Holden added, looking up at Bill in an omega fashion rather than meeting his gaze. Bill noticed that he had become more relaxed about his mannerisms around Wendy, pegging her as someone who really didn't care. Bill was glad to see it.

“Where did Gregg run off to?”

“He left for a doctor's appointment,” Holden said dismissively.

_Ah, no wonder he's so relaxed._ Bill strongly doubted Holden trusted Gregg enough to ever let his guard down. Gregg found Holden obnoxious, and Holden viewed Gregg as a lackluster flunky dumped on them by Shepard. Bill personally didn't find Gregg that impressive either, though he tried to keep an open mind. Some people just needed extra time. _Still, they should have hired Jim Barney._ He thought again about Gunn's words. “Holden, how do you see the world around you?”

Holden set his pen down and looked confused. “What do you mean? In what way?”

“As an omega.”

The look of confusion didn't lift, and Wendy was observing them with interest. “I can smell you, and Wendy can't?”

“Are you asking if he processes environmental stimuli differently?” Wendy asked.

“Oh, I see. Very possibly, I suspect so. However, I'm not certain to what extent.” Holden shrugged and idly tapped his pen against his note pad. “I don't know how you and Wendy perceive this room.” He made a circular gesture with his pen. “In order to compare. There are people who theorize that we do sense things differently – remember the kid in Cincinnati who had a bad feeling walking back to his dorm? We thought there might be something to that. but it's hard to say for sure.”

“There aren't really any good studies on this,” Wendy supplied. “It's hard to determine if there's truth in it, or if a lot of it is old wives tales.”

“Or a mix of both,” Holden added. “But again, I don't know what it's like to be a beta.”

“It would be an interesting idea to explore,” Wendy admitted. “To know what alphas and omegas experience and vise versa.”

“There's no way to mimic scent receptors, and even if you could, there would be no way to interpret that information. I can automatically tell what mood Bill is in – he's very calm, by the way, but it wouldn't mean anything to a beta. It would just be a scent without any instinct or extra knowledge attached. And if I was cut off my receptors, I wouldn't understand betas any better. Their mannerisms would still be completely foreign. Now if there are other differences in perception, that would be fascinating.” He turned his attention back to Bill. “What made you think of this?”

“I've wondered before, and something someone said reminded me.” He didn't want to admit to Holden that he had been discussing him with Gunn. 

“I wish I had a better answer. It's an interesting question.”

Wendy was still looking at Holden with a speculative expression. “It's interesting how much difficulty you have with betas, yet you don't seem to have any trouble in interviews, despite all our subjects being betas.”

“Hmm...I suppose it's easier to play off what they're telling me, to relate to them in that way – verbally, through the experiences they describe, and sometimes you just get a feel for someone. Is that what Bill is referring to? I don't know.” He shrugged one shoulder. Paused, then admitted, “I can't play to a room full of people. It's too much information to try and break down and figure out. Unless it's very obvious, I can't necessarily tell how you're feeling. Though, I'll instinctively react to aggression, or what my body thinks is aggression. Those aren't always the same things,” he admitted to Wendy, then looked awkward when he realized he had lost the off switch on his mouth again. 

“There's no shame in admitting it,” Wendy replied.

Holden looked uncomfortable, started to speak, stopped and started again. “I never interacted with betas as an omega. I always mimicked the mannerisms of betas, tried to mimic them,” he corrected. “But that doesn't mean I fully understood them. Perhaps by not interacting with people as myself, I never learned to translate the language properly.”

“That wouldn't surprise me in the slightest,” Bill told him, surprised that he had divulged that theory about himself, though it made a lot of sense. He had a feeling that with omegas and betas existing on the opposite ends of a spectrum, they would always have some things get lost in translation regardless. Omegas commonly claimed betas were confusing, but Holden's difficulties seemed to go beyond other people's. Betas rarely seemed to understand omegas at all, but then many of them didn't come into contact with omegas often. Far too many didn't seem to be interested in trying to understand the ins and outs of a small minority of people commonly considered weird.

He noticed Holden's scent had changed from the even focused quality it had when he first walked in to something signaling unease. _He said more than he intended._ His mate was intellectually curious, one of his better qualities, and if a topic grabbed him, he could talk at great length. He just didn't always know how to stop. 

Holden turned his attention back to the file folder in front of him. “His second victim came from all the way across town. Different socioeconomic status, different occupation, it's doubtful victim one and two shopped in the same places. Neither were students. One was married, one wasn't. But they have the same hair color, same general size and build. They must remind the killer of someone.”

“An old girlfriend, wife maybe,” Bill suggested. “Or maybe his mother. It does always seem to go back to the mother.”

* * *

Holden spent the rest of the day preoccupied. He had the vague sense he said too much again. In the moment, he had no problem talking about any particular topic. But after the fact, he worried that he said the wrong thing, came off wrong, or sounded foolish. This was triply true when he divulged information about himself. He was used to keeping part of himself back and being careful what face he showed other people. At first it was a survival mechanism from his childhood, then it became habit. Bill was the one person who knew him most completely, but Bill had always been able to see through him anyway. Holden thought that was one of the reasons he and Bill fit so well together – Holden couldn't fool him.

But more than pointless worrying over a verbal slip up, was the phone number he had kept carefully folded in his wallet. His uncles happened to live in Cedarville, Pennsylvania. _Talk about coincidence._ Gregg reappeared that afternoon, and Holden went back to impersonating a beta. While he had little fondness for Gregg, he wondered how necessary it was to keep up the act around him. _Not very. He knows I'm omega already._ Still, the thought of relaxing in front of him added to his general sense of unease.

Later that evening Bill walked up and pressed his lips to Holden's neck. “Are you feeling OK? You smell OK, but you've been standing there with that dish in your hand for awhile now.”

Holden jerked. “Oh yeah, I'm just a little distracted.” He quickly rinsed off the plate and stuck it in the dishwasher. 

“I can tell.” He continued to stand right behind Holden's shoulder with the air of someone waiting for something. 

Holden considered his options. If he told Bill what he was considering, his mate would hold him to it. If he didn't say anything to Bill, he could cowardly back out with no one being the wiser. 

“Holden...” Bill said gently and nudged his back.

He exhaled. “My uncle William and his mate live in Cedarville. I haven't seen them since I was eight – my mother is estranged from them along most of her family.” He paused before admitting, “I copied down their phone number out of my mother's address book while she was asleep.”

“How...furtive of you,” Bill said after a silent moment. “Are you going to call them?”

“I don't know. Doesn't it seem kind of odd to call them up when they haven't seen me since I was eight?”

“No, not really. They're family and whatever happened between them and your mother doesn't have anything to do with you,” Bill pointed out. “Why have they been estranged all these years?”

Holden turned to face Bill, leaning against the counter. “I have no idea. She doesn't really talk about them much. She's referred to them as busybodies before. We have no connection to most of her side of the family, and I don't really know why other than they're not her kind of people. Whatever that means.” Holden had some of his own theories regarding this, but kept them to himself. “Dad mentioned there was some kind of big fight at one point.”

“Interesting. And you want to know why.”

“Yes,” Holden replied, “and no.” He shifted uncomfortably. He had avoided talking to Bill about his parents and childhood as much as possible. He had the feeling if he told Bill, his mate would verify what Holden already feared most. “I suspect some things,” he finally went on, tone careful. Bill's focus on him was intent. He reached out to take Holden's hands in his own and silently led him to the living room and sat him down on the sofa, the intensity of his regard never dropping. Holden's mouth went dry.

“What things?”

“I'd rather not...” He grimaced, shifting uncomfortably. Bill still had hold of his hands so he couldn't escape. His mate leaned in and kissed his neck again, his lips soft and lingering. A gesture meant to comfort, but also a way to covertly scent his neck. Holden didn't know what he smelled like, but it probably wasn't the scent of a happy omega.

“I think there's some things you ought to tell me.” 

When Holden remained silent, he went on. “They hurt you, didn't they?” Holden didn't think he'd ever heard his voice that gentle. “Your parents.”

“N-no.” It was perhaps the most unconvincing negative uttered in human history. “My mother can be a little difficult at times, but she means well.” 

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself.” He caressed the back of Holden's hand with his thumb. “Give your uncles a call and see if you can stop by while we're in town. We'll have some downtime in the evening. Get your answers.”

It was half an our later, and Holden still hadn't phoned. He stared at the telephone and then back at the creased piece of paper feeling horribly awkward. _Maybe no one will be home. Maybe they will have moved._ The thought both comforted and depressed him. He would like to see Will and Stevie again. He liked them as a child. He sighed and picked up the phone, knowing if he didn't, Bill would pester him until he did. _That's what I get for being honest and forthcoming._

He frowned, forced the jumble of thoughts from his head, and dialed. It rang once, twice, a third time and then Holden heard a click as the receiver was picked up on the other end. “Hello, Miller residence.”

“Is William there, please?” He asked, desperately trying to collect his thoughts.

“May I ask who's calling?” Came the polite voice that he assumed was Stevie's.

“This is his nephew, Holden Ford. Linda's son --”

“Holden? This is Stevie. Did someone die?” He sounded both surprised and mildly alarmed. 

“No, no! Nothing like that. I just got your phone number--” He quickly reassured him.

“Hold on, let me get Will. He'll want to talk to you.” 

Holden nervously wound the phone cord around his wrist. He could faintly hear Stevie calling for Will and then footsteps approaching the phone. “Hello? Holden? This is your uncle Will. How are you? It's been how long?”

“I'm fine, and twenty-two years.” _But who's counting?_ “This might sound odd, since I haven't seen you and Stevie for so long, but I'm going to be in town for work, and was wondering if we could possibly get together for a little while some evening.”

“Of course – we'd love to see you. When are you going to be in town?”

Holden started to relax. “The fourth through the sixth.”

“Come by the evening of the sixth. Do you have our address?”

Holden copied down the address and directions, his heart rate returning to normal. He felt a weight lifted from his shoulders when he hung up the phone. Granted, he still had to go through with the visit, but the awkward part was over.

* * *

The afternoon of November 6 rolled around, and Holden had been pushing the thought of the impending visit from his mind. It was easy while working. He liked puzzles, was good at them, and people made the most interesting puzzles of all. What made them the way they were? What motivated them to act so far beyond the bounds of normality? How did they think, feel about the the things they did? In this case, the question was how was the perpetrator selected his victims. He had to be someone who didn't look out of place whether he was in a poor neighborhood or a more affluent part of town.

The rest of the profile wasn't hard, white male at least in his mid twenties to thirties, a beta, clean cut looking, no one who would arouse suspicion. He had a type, average height, thin, dark hair, twenties, suggesting he had a connection in his own life to someone fitting that description. He was careful in what he did with all the rope being the same color and diameter, all the knots being the same type, he wrapped the wrists and ankles the same number of times on each victim. There throats were slit in the exact same manner – the length of the cut was the same, the placement was the same. They were all washed clean of blood before they were dumped. There was an obsessive quality to it that perhaps carried over into other aspects of his life.

Though the victims had nothing in common aside from their physical attributes, Holden noticed something. All five women lived in houses rather than apartments. Even the two from the poor neighborhood.

“It's possible he has a job that would take him into a home – some type of repair or utility work,” Bill suggested. “Something that wouldn't take him into a victim's living space, if they were in an apartment building.

“He wouldn't look out of place anywhere he went and would have access to his own transportation.” Holden agreed. “That's what they need to do. They need to check and see if the meters have been read or serviced lately, and if so by whom, or if they had any repair work done. I know two of them lived alone, but if something were recently repaired or replaced like a large appliance or window, it should be obvious.”

“This will give them a place to start,” Bill agreed. His scent read pleased alpha. 

Things had been going smoothly minus a few minor hiccups that for once hadn't been Holden's doing. He found himself working almost entirely with betas except for one alpha who never said anything about his status, but eyed Holden with a knowing expression. They were wrapping up now. He and Bill were only on a short temporary loan, since the city felt decently equipped to deal with the case, and Bill and Holden had an interview scheduled early the following week. He felt a sense of satisfaction that came from doing work that truly interested him, but now that they were almost through, thoughts of the coming evening began to creep back in.

He had double checked with Will when they made it into town, and yes, they still wanted Holden to stop by. He told himself it was one evening of his life, that whatever they said was unlikely to shock him, because he knew his mother after all. He reminded himself that they had made it clear they really did want to see their prodigal nephew. But telling himself these rational, logical things didn't stop the nerves fluttering around in his belly.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Bill asked later that evening. They had been killing time in the motel room, but the clock said seven, and it was time to leave.

Holden paused midway through putting his shoes on, hesitating. Having Bill with him was security, but he didn't know what Will and Stevie were going to say. _What if this was somehow my fault? What if my mother's actions really were wrong? What if Bill hates my parents? Will I be able to still love my mother? What if I'm just overreacting and being silly, and Bill sees that I'm overreacting and being silly?_ Countless thoughts formed a traffic jam in his brain. 

“Holden?”

“Yes, but no. No, I think I should go on my own,” he finally said more firmly, shoving his left foot into his shoe.

“OK, if you're sure.” 

Holden exhaled long and slow, relieved that Bill wasn't pushing. The alpha was concerned, but willing to give his mate the space to do what he needed to do. Holden stood up and slipped his jacket back on, then his overcoat. “I shouldn't be too late.”

Bill handed him the room key he almost forgot. He tucked it into his coat pocket and headed for the door. The chilly November air helped clear his head as he slid into the drivers seat of the rental car and looked over the directions again. He spent the relatively short drive attempting to talk some sense into himself. _The family issues may have nothing to do with me, and Mom meant well, I'm sure. She's a beta, how could she know any better?_ But the excuses on his mother's behalf had begun sounding hollow after his last trip down to see them. Perhaps even before that as he started struggling with his identity as an omega. That was why he didn't want Bill with him. Bill wouldn't allow him to keep up the fiction that his mother was well meaning and unconditionally loving. Bill would see right through it just just like he saw through the other lies Holden told himself. And then what?

He found the correct street after only one wrong turn and slowed to peer at the house numbers. 256 sat half way down the street. He parked and got out, making his way to the modest, but pleasant looking home wedged between a duplex and a larger house. _Maybe Will and Stevie will have nothing earth shattering to say. And maybe my mother will send me a card congratulating me on my bonding._ He sighed and attempted to prepare himself for the inevitable.


	2. Chapter 2

Holden paused at the front steps, his pulse and respiration increasing with his nerves. He tried to focus on slowing his breathing, and walked up and rang the bell. He stood for a few tense moments before the door opened, and Holden found himself face to face with an omega a bit older than Bill. “Hi, I'm --”

“Holden? My god, it is. Come on in.” He stepped aside and called out, “Will, get down here.”

Holden stepped into a homey feeling living room furnished with comfortable furniture and covered with family pictures. The omega, who had to be Stevie, grinned, and as he smiled, Holden recognized him from his childhood. Stevie's smile had always been the most memorable thing about him. “Wow, you've grown.” Stevie couldn't have been much more than 5'6”. He grasped Holden's hand between his own, his scent excited.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs reached him, and a moment later William appeared behind his mate. “Holden? Holden Ford. We wondered what had ever happened to you.” He clasped Holden's hand. “Come in and sit down, no need to be nervous – here, I can take your coat.” Holden relinquished his outer garment, feeling overdressed in his suit.

_Of course he can smell me, they both can._ Granted, he could pick up excited omega and pleased alpha. William stood considerably taller than Stevie, and like Bill, was broad through the shoulders, his face less soft. However, Holden could see small similarities between him and his mother. The shape of his nose and chin, even his height, as his mother was not a small woman, marked William out as a relative. Holden sat down on the sofa and tried not to feel awkward.

“So what have you been doing with yourself all these years? Do you have a mate, kids?” Stevie asked.

“I have a mate, no kids. Well, no biological kids. Bill has an adopted son,” Holden supplied. “He's six.”

“What does Bill do?” William asked. His uncles were brimming with good natured curiosity, and Holden felt himself relax just a little. It was always easier to be around alphas and omegas. He could ascertain their moods from scent alone, and their body language made sense. It took a lot of the guess work out of social interactions.

“He works at Quantico, we work together – it's how we met. I'm his partner. In the Behavioral Science Unit. It's -” 

“Wait, you work for the Feds?” Stevie interrupted clearly surprised. 

“Uh, yeah. FBI. I used to be a hostage negotiator, but then I was reassigned to the BSU...” his voice trailed off when he realized they were staring at him, Stevie with his head cocked to the side so he could closely observe with out staring Holden in the face.

“Has the world changed that much? Damn...” Will said. “When we were young there was no way the FBI would ever hire an omega. The local police department wouldn't hire an omega.”

“Well, with the current suppressants on the market, more omegas are continuing their education and seeking jobs outside the home. But on the other hand, the only other omegas I know of that work at Quantico are secretaries and clerks, and I have to spend a lot of time mimicking betas.” He shrugged. “It's a mixed bag. It's still rare to see any of us in law enforcement.”

“So changing, but not that fast.” Stevie remarked with a wry smile. “Still, some progress is better than none.”

“So,” Will carefully began. “How is my sister?”

“She and Dad are fine. I saw them not too long ago.” Holden replied in an equally careful tone.

Stevie held his fingers to his forehead. “I'm making a prognostication....your mother doesn't know you're here talking to us. Am I right, or has the great Stevie Miller failed?”

Holden's mouth quirked into a small smile, relieved that his uncle caught on without him having to lay out everything. “The great Stevie is still great. You're right. I copied down your contact information from her address book after she went to bed.”

William let out a guffaw at that. “I'm surprised she has it. She always was meticulous, though. It would probably upset her sense of order to leave us out.” He became more serious. “Sorry, I don't mean to sound negative about your mother.”

“It's OK. That's kind of why I contacted you...” _How to explain this...how much do I tell them?_ “I've been thinking a lot lately about the way I was raised and the fact that we were completely cut off from the rest of the family.” He shifted uncomfortably. 

“You owe me $5.00,” Stevie said to Will. He turned back to Holden, focusing on a spot near his left shoulder. “I thought it might be something like this.” His voice was kind. “She was rough on you as a little boy.” He reached out and patted Holden's hand. “And now you're left to make sense out of it as an adult.”

“Uh, yeah,” Holden admitted. He doubted he would have been able to put it so succinctly.

“I'll take that $5.00 in cash, please,” Stevie added to Will. 

“My first guess was that my sister had developed an incurable disease,” He grumbled. “Not that I'm wishing ill on anyone,” he quickly added. “And we're very glad to see you whatever the reason.”

“May I ask, what caused the split in the family? I haven't seen hardly anybody since I was eight – just one sparsely attended funeral for uncle Rick.”

“Rick managed to burn a lot of his own bridges.” Will sighed. “This is what you need to understand about your mother.” He paused, trying to find the right words. “We grew up in a different time where there weren't heat suppressants. Omegas bonded young, they still tend to, but it was a given then, and raised the kids. That meant betas didn't have a lot of contact with them, and that's how you get misinformation and rumor and a lot of garbage. Linda, your mother, my sister, was never comfortable growing up in a home with alpha-omega parents, and siblings who presented. She got teased a lot for it as a kid, and she's always put a lot of stock in appearances.”

“My mate is being very kind and very long winded,” Stevie interrupted. “She wanted to be normal, and the family wasn't normal by the standards of some betas in the community.”

“Unfortunately, she built up a lot of resentment about it.” Will went on, “and it colored the way she treated you.” He looked uncomfortable. “I know she's your mother, and I don't know how to say some of this.”

“It's OK,” Holden told him. “I asked.” He wanted the truth even though it was likely to hurt.

“You can usually tell a kid is going to be omega long before they present, and you were no different. The mannerisms and instincts are all there, even if the scent glands aren't developed yet. We all knew by the time you were five, six years old. It was the same with our youngest, Davie. You've never met him, but we knew when he was about the same age.” He ran a hand through his graying hair. “Your father didn't know anything about alphas and omegas, didn't have any close up in his family tree, so he went along with your mother. And it made your mother uneasy that you might be omega.”

Stevie shook his head and muttered, “so stupid,” under his breath.

“So she tried to...discourage the omega behaviors you exhibited. It caused a lot of friction. We were a close family, so everyone was always in everyone else's business. Rick and one of our sisters down played what was going on and turned a blind eye. Everyone else tried to talk sense into her or intervene when we saw her trying to bully you. This eventually led to a very impressive fight where I might have lost my temper.”

Stevie snorted. “I lost _my_ temper, and I never lose my temper. We were over at our parents' house, and you were just trying to play with Julie. Your mother was chasing you around scolding you for not minding your _manners,_ meaning -”

“I know what she means when she says that,” Holden assured him. He'd only heard it constantly when growing up. It meant he had slipped into his natural behavioral patterns. 

“Well, you wouldn't look her in the face when she was talking to you, so she grabbed you to force you to make eye contact, you started crying--”

“Wait, I remember this,” Holden cut in. “I was scared, she spanked me, and I went and ran to Granddad.” His alpha grandfather had always made him feel safe and protected.

“And I told her exactly what was what,” Stevie said. “And she had the absolute nerve to look at me and say it was easy for me to criticize her, when I had a normal child. Can you imagine? That was the point Will walked in, found out what had happened, and completely went off. I think he might have scared her a little. Enraged alphas are no joke.”

“She deserved to be scared.” Will's voice was firm. “Unfortunately, after that she decided we were all a bad influence on you, and we never saw you again. Never heard directly from her, either, and now here you are. I'm sorry, it's not a very pleasant story.”

“I was afraid it might have been something like this...that it was because of me.” He didn't really think before saying it, he was feeling emotional and his mouth tended to work on it's own accord.

“No, no, no!” Stevie exclaimed. “It wasn't because of you, it was because of Linda. You were just a little kid. You can't blame little kids for adult nonsense.”

“This is all down to Linda's issues that she's had since she was a child. Unfortunately, you got stuck suffering for it anyway. Did she ever get any better? You're about as omega as they come and have a mate...” Will's voice trailed off, a hint of hope at the end.

“Uh, not really. No. I just got tired of pretending to be a beta – it was causing too much stress, and I was suppose to try and reduce my stress. I do what I have to do at work and other than that...” He shrugged. “She knows about Bill, but hasn't met him yet. She would have preferred him to not have bitten me and been female.” He grimaced.

“So you stole our number to try and get to the bottom of her bullshit. Pardon my language.”

Holden nodded. “Yes, that's an accurate way of putting it.”

“Well I'm glad you did,” Will said. “And I would really like to stay in touch – you have cousins who would would love to see you. Davie doesn't know you, but he's just had his first baby and would love to have the opportunity to show her off. Julie has a three year old now herself.”

“And we would like to meet Bill,” Stevie added. “Give me your phone number. We always have a get together in the spring with all the kids, and you're getting an invite.”

Holden gladly gave out his number and address. He liked his uncles, had as a child too. There was some consolation knowing he had family that didn't view his natural state as something to be ashamed of. He tried not to think too hard about what Stevie and Will had told him about the fight. Stevie proudly showed off pictures of his grandchildren, they drank coffee, and Holden showed them his badge at Stevie's request.

“Please, call us again if you happen to be in town,” Will invited as he was leaving.

“I will,” he promised, trying to sort through his jumble of emotions.

* * *

Holden let himself into their motel room, feeling subdued. He didn't know what to tell Bill. Holden's family issues were deeply personal, but Bill was also family now. “Hey, I'm back,” he said, slipping out of his jacket and hanging it up. He walked over to the end of the bed Bill was stretched out on watching TV.

“How did it go?”

Holden hesitated, searching for a safe way to begin. “My uncles Will and Stevie are great. It turns out I also have a cousin I never met.” He dug around in his suitcase for his pajamas and began stripping out of his dress clothes. He could feel Bill's eyes on him. “I only ever knew Julie and Rob, but Rob was a good bit younger than me.” He finished his bedtime routine and crawled on to the bed next to Bill who seemed to be waiting patiently for him.

“What did they have to say?” Bill asked. 

Holden stared out at a spot across the room, a jumble of thoughts racing through his brain. The rational knowledge that he had been a small child warring with a child's hurt. “It was because of me. The split in the family.” His voice came out smaller than he had intended, pent up emotion leaking out around the edges.

“You were a little kid. Whatever happened couldn't have been your fault. What did they _actually_ say?” His hand slid across Holden's back to rest on his waist. 

“Everyone knew I was an omega long before I presented, because I was like I am now.” He paused again.

“Adorable.” Bill pulled him closer.

“It's not adorable to my parents. They wanted a normal, socially acceptable child, not a son who goes into heat,” Holden pointed out. “So they raised me to be a beta.”

“I'm sorry, but that's asinine. You can't make a beta out of an omega. It doesn't work that way.”

Holden absently leaned into his mate, the warmth of his body and scent soothing him. “My grandparents would agree with you, if they were still around. Most of my aunts and uncles as well. That's what caused the rift. My mother didn't want her family interfering in how she raised me, and it eventually came to a head. She cut them all out.”

Holden laughed humorlessly. “Will and Stevie really went off on her one day. I remember it too, I just never knew it caused all this.” 

“Holden, sweetheart,” he began, clearly realizing that his mate was attempting to omit something. “What happened?”

“I wasn't behaving the way she wanted. I wouldn't focus on my _manners,_ so she grabbed me and tried to force me to look at her. It frightened me, and I started crying. She gave me a smack on the bottom, and Stevie intervened --”

“She fucking hit you?”

Holden shrugged. “Sometimes, yeah. They never beat me. Just a whack on the behind or the hand.”

To Holden's discomfort, Bill was aghast. “She struck her little omega child, for being a little omega child?” Holden could feel the anger radiating off his mate. “Fuck, Holden. There's nothing OK about that.”

Not knowing what to do to defuse a protective alpha, he continued the story. “Once Stevie got involved, I ran off to find my granddad, so I didn't hear all of it – didn't want to. But according to Will, Stevie put his foot down, and my mother said something fairly awful. Will stepped into the middle of it, found out what was happening, and really let my mother have it. I never saw them after that.”

“Someone hurting a little omega would send most alphas through the fucking roof.”

“Bill, I don't want you to think they were abusive. They weren't.” 

Bill turned to face him, placing his hands on his mate's shoulders.“Holden, how is the way you were raised not abusive?” 

Holden swallowed hard. “They never just beat on me, they never deprived me of food, I wasn't molested, they didn't scream at me...she just didn't want me to behave like an omega.”

“You were punished for natural traits you can't control – as a vulnerable child.”

Holden sat in silence for a long moment before gently pushing Bill's hands away, so he could curl up with his head pillowed on Bill's lap. Nothing that Will and Stevie told him had come as a shock, but it was different having it all laid out in front of him where he couldn't ignore it. It was also clear Bill wasn't going to let him downplay the actions of his parents, and Holden didn't know what to do with it all. Bill's hand rubbed over his ribs and hip in long soothing strokes.

“The next time you visit them, I'm coming too,” Bill stated. His tone made it clear that this was not up for debate.

“That's fine. I want you there...but Bill, you have to understand, they're still my parents.”

“You were upset after you visited them before. What did they do?”

Holden made a frustrated sound. “I was myself, it upset my mother. She didn't like the bond bite – actually, that part's almost funny now.” 

“Yeah, fucking hilarious.” Bill's voice dripped sarcasm.

“I said, almost.” Her attitude towards a completely consensual mating ruined whatever humor was there. “Eventually I capitulated and played the beta for the rest of the visit.” He rubbed Bill's leg in an attempt to calm the alpha. “It was uncomfortable and awkward, and I'm not used to parental visits feeling that way. We've always had a good relationship. I thought we did. I didn't realize this stuff wasn't normal. I thought my mother was trying to do what was best for me.”

“Do you think that now?”

Holden closed his eyes. “No. I didn't fit into her image of what a family should be like, so she tried to change me to fit that image. But she's still my mother, and when we go down there, you have to behave. You can't act angrily towards them, if they haven't done anything to warrant it – anything new to warrant it.” He neatly closed that loophole.

“If I can be polite to Ed Kemper, I'm sure I can manage with your parents.”

“If comparing them to a convicted murderer helps you... Since I'm staying in Virginia for Christmas, I'm obligated to show up for Thanksgiving – that's only a few weeks away.” Holden didn't want to face his mother alone. At that moment, he didn't want to face her at all, but shoving a protective alpha and his mother together seemed like a recipe for trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stevie's character really took on a life of his own when I was writing this. I originally wrote more than one version of Holden meeting his family. One involved Davie and his mate as well, but it didn't fit the tone of the story, so I went with this instead.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have timed this better - this part of the story is almost seasonal, being set over the Thanksgiving weekend. So close, but alas, it's only October 27.

I don't think I'm ready for this,” Holden said, pressing against Bill's arm as the plane began it's descent. “I'm going to preemptively apologize for whatever my mother might say or do.”

“We'll survive. Think of it this way. Half the country is traveling home, and a bunch of them are worried about their bat shit crazy families. We're in good company.” He squeezed Holden's knee. He worried about his mate. Many of the ideas Holden held regarding his family and upbringing had come crumbling down, and now he was forced to face the two people who had wreaked so much havoc in his life.

Holden's father, John, once again came to pick them up. Holden waved to get his attention while dodging other holiday travelers. He embraced his father. “Dad, this is Bill.”

His father looked taken aback for a moment. Bill wasn't sure what John expected him to be like, but he apparently didn't fit whatever picture he had formed in his head. John quickly recovered and offered his hand which Bill shook with a friendly smile. The situation might have become awkward quickly, if it wasn't for the fact that Bill was good at talking to people, putting them at ease. While he wouldn't label himself an extrovert, communication came easily to him unlike his mate who struggled to understand social cues from betas he didn't know well. Bill suspected Holden relied far more on scent cues and instinct, which became difficult with betas who lacked scent glands and didn't behave like alphas and omegas. He had formed several interesting theories regarding his mate's strengths and weaknesses and how his status might affect them.

Holden had informed him that his father was the more easy going of the two, and he seemed to be right. John relaxed quickly during the drive, finding Bill friendly and easy to talk to. When they arrived at the house, Holden's mother proved a different story. Whatever her expectations were, she didn't show the surprise his father did. Unfortunately, she made her feelings clear as soon as she opened her mouth by promptly throwing out a subtle barb.

“So you're Holden's boyfriend,” Linda pleasantly said.

“Mate, he's my mate,” Holden corrected softly.

“Bill.” He held out his hand with a smile, aware of the slight, but not showing it. 

“Sorry, I'm still getting used to the idea. One day he's dating girls, and the next he's been bitten by an alpha.” Her tone was light, good humored, but Bill knew she was feeling him out. They were two fighters circling each other carefully. Linda wanting to protect her idealized vision of family life from an interloper, and Bill determined to protect his mate from further damage.

“It wasn't quite that fast, ma'am,” Bill replied genially. 

“Please, call me Linda.” A temporary truce was offered while everyone regrouped.

“Come here, Holden.” She caught her son in a hug. “It's good to see you.”

“Good to see you too.” He smelled like anxious omega, something that his parents had no way of knowing, but it hit Bill hard. His instincts told him to comfort his mate, but he knew that wouldn't help the situation.

“Come on, I'll show you were you'll be sleeping. We're putting you in the guest bedroom rather than Holden's old room.” 

They followed John into the neat, modest house. Bill could see where Holden had likely developed his tendencies towards neatness. The house had a cozy enough feel, but was very tidy with out a lot of brick a brack. He reached out, briefly touching Holden's lower back as they walked through to a hallway off the living room. “You're on the right. It's been doubling as an office, but this bed is bigger.”

Bill couldn't smell Holden's father, but he seemed to be less thrown by Bill after the initial meeting had worn off. It wouldn't have surprised Bill, if Linda had tried to stick them with the smaller bed to force one to sleep on the couch. John, however, seemed like the kind of person who went along with the inevitable rather than continuing to fight it. Bill had bitten Holden, the fight was done. One point to the alpha. Linda wasn't going to give up so easily, but she would slip her jabs in subtly rather than going for a frontal assault. 

“You OK?” Bill quietly asked Holden as they set their suitcases down.

The omega shrugged. “I'm not sure yet. I'm glad you're here, I can tell Mom isn't happy.” 

They made their way back to the living room. “Holden said you moved around a lot. How long have you lived here? It's a nice house.”

“Thank you, sit down, sit down.” Linda gestured to the sofa. “We moved in when Holden was sixteen – it's been fourteen years now.”

They made small talk. Linda wasn't going to be such an ungracious hostess as to say anything that would make Bill feel unwelcome, but it was clear she wasn't comfortable with his presence. Holden smelled nervous, though he had plastered on a happy face to please his mother. Meanwhile, John was either oblivious to the undercurrents or knew better than to rock the boat. Bill didn't think anyone could be that oblivious, so he came to the conclusion that John just didn't want trouble. However, with at least one family member actively avoiding problems, Bill thought the situation might be navigable. If both his mate's parents put up a united front, the visit was going to crash and burn.

To be fair, Bill didn't like Linda either. To say he didn't like her was a vast understatement. She made the inexcusable error of hurting his mate. You didn't hit an omega, you never hit omegas – they responded poorly to physical aggression, especially as vulnerable children. Not that Bill advocated corporal punishment in general. He couldn't personally imagine striking a child. But Linda's actions were especially egregious, even if they technically fell within the bounds of social acceptability for beta parents. The fact that Holden was clearly on edge didn't help the situation either. _Imagine going through life thinking the person who was supposed to love and care for you was justified in treating you like shit._ Bill had one job that holiday weekend, keeping Linda of Holden's back.

* * *

Holden poured himself a cup of coffee, still in his pajamas. Bill was in the shower, and Holden needed caffeine in his system before dealing with his parents. He considered hiding in the bedroom until Bill came out – safety in numbers, but it seemed cowardly behaving like a zebra cut from the herd. _I'm not going to let them bully me._ He told himself again.

“Morning.” His mother greeted him, briefly touching his arm, before reaching for a coffee cup in the cupboard. 

“Good morning.” He leaned back against the counter, cradling the warm mug and trying to grab some sense of calm as he attempted to untangle his feelings. He was upset and angry at his mother's selfish treatment of him, frightened that he might be put in a situation that he didn't know how to react to, and guilty that his feelings about their relationship were changing. He both loved his mother and dreaded being alone with her. _Bill, hurry up._

“He's older,” his mother said after pouring her own coffee. Her tone was neutral, but Holden knew the statement wasn't.

“A bit,” he agreed, sipping his coffee, glad that it gave him something to do. 

“You shouldn't have let him bite you.”

“I asked him to bite me.”

“It's an ugly thing to do.”

“It was a loving thing to do, and I don't regret it.” Annoyance bubbled up. They had been over this before. Even if his mother didn't have the issues she had, he still wouldn't be comfortable discussing anything as sexual as heat with a parent. But he wished he could tell her how Bill hadn't just fucked him into the mattress, but also cared for him while he was at his most vulnerable. He had felt safe in a way he never had in his parents' house where heat was treated as something messy, inconvenient, and embarrassing.

“Your change in behavior is because of Bill, isn't it,” she pressed.

_She's desperate to get her son back. She feels like she's losing me._ “It's because I'm omega, and I'm tired of fighting it all the time.” _Or maybe it's the idea she has of me – the successful beta who doesn't really exist._

Holden made a small distressed sound as she reached out to grab his face. “What is so difficult about looking at me when we're talking?”

“Hey,” Bill said softly, as he gently blocked her hand. He had walked up behind Holden, and his hand was now a warm comforting weight resting on the back of his neck. Holden fought the urge to hide his face in his shoulder. “You don't do that to omegas.” His voice was calm and even, but his interference while welcome to Holden, was not to his mother.

“I'm sorry, Bill, but this is between Holden and myself.”

“He's my mate, and you're making him anxious. Any omega is going to be anxious, if you put your hands in their face and stare them down.” Bill spoke politely, but it was clear he wasn't backing down, and Holden was thankful for it. Bill dropped his hand so it could find his waist instead, and he felt himself start to calm.

“Mom,” he began, trying to find a way to extend an olive branch. “If you want to talk about why I am the way I am, we can. There are reasons for these things, maybe it would help.”

“Holden, I grew up with omegas. I'm aware.” 

No apology, no attempt to try to talk through an awkward and painful situation. Holden wasn't surprised. It was what he expected. She patted him on the arm to show him all was forgiven. “Have you   
seen the paper?”

“I think Dad has it in the living room.”

Bill stepped in front of him as soon as his mother left the kitchen. He reached up to gently stroke his mate's cheek. “I'm sorry, if I overstepped.”

“You didn't. Thank you.” He let Bill hold him for a few long moments. 

He backed away from Bill enough to finish his coffee and rinse out the mug. “I need to shower. Will you be OK out here with them?”

“I'll be fine Holden.”

* * *

Bill was furious, but didn't show it. John had missed the entire episode, and Linda avoided direct conflict with anyone other than her son, it seemed. He was able to eat breakfast, make small talk with John, and put on a pleasant face for Linda. _That bitch. She knows better and either doesn't care, or she's intentionally using what she knows to bully and manipulate his behavior._ He started thinking of her as one of their subjects to analyze. The more he had watched her interact with Holden, the more he was inclined to believe it to be intentional manipulation. _She sees him starting to slip out of her control, so she's trying to reassert herself. Only he isn't a scared, isolated little boy anymore._

They had some respite over the course of the day as everyone tried to help in the kitchen and were all promptly banished for being in the way. Holden was kicked out first for being the biggest disaster, followed by John and then oddly enough, she tolerated Bill the longest. He assumed that since she was a woman on a culinary mission, not setting anything on fire or being completely underfoot took priority. In truth, Holden actually wasn't terrible when it came to food preparation as long as he had specific directions to follow, and he wasn't distracted. The atmosphere in the house was far too distracting. Linda mostly just gave Bill directions, occasionally throwing in a question so it seemed like she wasn't merely tolerating his presence for the sake of dinner. 

“So Bill,” Linda asked pleasantly as they sat down to eat. “How did it take you so long to find someone to settle down with? Or were you married to your job?”

Bill was well aware she was fishing for information, and didn't particularly care except that she might be trying to find ammunition to use against her son. “I was married to a beta for years,” He admitted. “I only came in contact with so many omegas growing up, and never found one I was compatible with. Eventually I realized living like a beta wasn't good for anyone. Alphas may seem closer to betas than omegas do, but you can't make a beta out of an alpha anymore than you can make one out of an omega.” He smiled when he said it, as if it wasn't the subtle jab that he intended it to be. _I know what you did and what you're doing now._ He thought. _Take that as a warning._

“Undoubtedly, but still, people can adapt to their circumstances if they're motivated enough. Holden wouldn't have gotten where he is, if he came off like a stereotypical omega. We wanted him to have more opportunities than his poor cousins. Goodness knows what became of them,” Linda said. Bill was not impressed with what he interpreted as an explanation for her earlier behavior. 

Holden shifted in his seat, and something in his posture alerted Bill, though his beta parents never would have caught it. To them, he appeared as a submissive omega. To Bill, an alpha, Holden was readying himself for something. “Actually, Davie is doing fine. He has a mate and a new baby,” Holden said calmly.

Both his parents looked perplexed. “Where did you hear that? You've never even met Davie Miller.”

“I saw Uncle William and Stevie a few weeks ago. I was traveling for work and stopped by.” Bill had to give credit to Holden. He was playing it off perfectly, as if there was nothing at all odd about suddenly dropping in on estranged family he hadn't seen since he was a small child.

“You haven't seen them since you were - ”

“Eight. I had just turned eight. I had some questions about the family, and decided to contact them. They're doing well. We've been invited back up in the spring when the cousins will all be in town.” He continued on conversationally. “It will be nice to see Julie again. I remember playing with her when I was a kid.”

Linda was sitting a little straighter, disapproval radiating off of her. John looked flummoxed, and Bill was inwardly cheering for his mate. _That's right, assert yourself, sweetheart._

“I sincerely doubt that Davie had the same opportunities that you did,” she finally said, clearly not sure how to proceed at this unexpected conversational turn.

“Probably true,” Holden admitted, “but that doesn't mean he isn't doing well. It's a shame we all lost touch.”

Linda didn't say anything to that. To do so, would bring up the reason why the falling out had happened, which she was loath to do in front of Bill. Still, Holden had fired a warning shot by suggesting he knew William and Stevie's side of the story. Bill might have wished his mate be a little more direct when it came to setting boundaries with his mother, but while his mouth could be a disaster, he wasn't prone to angry outbursts unless pushed. _And she is his mother._ Bill reminded himself. To Bill's surprise John, became the savior of the conversation and asked why work had brought them to Pennsylvania. Holden launched happily into the story with Bill adding bits here and there.

John was a typical beta. He didn't know much about alphas and omegas, since neither his siblings or parents had been any. He wouldn't have come into contact with many omegas through work, and didn't have had enough curiosity to look up information on his own. This made him a terrible advocate for his son, and he only half understood what was going on. But he recognized tension, and was attempting to diffuse it. Bill relaxed, the current danger passed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end of another story - thanks to everyone who has been sticking with the series so far. Next week I'm probably going to start posting a fun two parter to give myself more time to get ahead on what's turning out to be quite a long fic.

“We need to have a talk, Holden. Just you and me. I'm concerned.” 

Holden closed his eyes in a God-give-me-strength kind of way. They made it through to Friday, and he had started to believe they might be able to avoid any major drama. He hoped that admitting he had spoken to his uncles would have shut her up. 

“Sure,” he replied. The universe was not going to allow him to avoid confrontation. Bill was watching football with John, so she pulled her son aside into the den. He had always preferred the small, cozy room. It seemed even smaller now as he sat down on the old sofa that was more comfortable than the pretty one in the living room. Linda sat down at the other end and turned to face him.

“Honey, you have me worried. You did the last time we saw you, and now... I don't want to watch you throw away everything you've worked for.”

“My career is fine, I'm fine. Why am I not allowed to relax outside of work?” Holden protested, trying hard to keep his voice even. 

“You've changed since you started seeing Bill. You don't want to end up like Stevie do you?”

“Don't bring Bill into this.” His voice hardened. _Don't make this about Bill. You're going to make me say things I don't want to say._ “This isn't about him, and what's wrong with Stevie?” He added in a more confused voice. “He's nice, has a mate and kids – grandkids now.” _He's living a completely normal and inoffensive existence?_

“You want to be submissive to an alpha? Have his babies? Give up your career? I don't think Stevie finished high school.” Holden bridled at the hint of contempt that crept into her voice.

“I'm not submissive to Bill, and he wouldn't ask me to give up my career. I take a contraceptive, so I can choose when I want kids. Stop blaming him for the way I was born.” 

She gave Holden the look reserved for when he had been difficult as a child. “Well, what am I supposed to think? You get involved with an alpha, and suddenly you've turned into the typical little omega.”

“I'm not little. I didn't shrink.” _Wow that was dumb. Why do I immediately become dumb when she does this?_ He mentally shook himself. “I'm the same person I always was, I'm just not hiding it anymore. There's no reason to, and I have to question why this bothers you so much. If it's not affecting my career, and I'm happier, then I can only assume it embarrasses you in some way. But I don't know what to tell you – you had an omega, not a beta.” His voice had gotten louder without him realizing it.

“There's no need to take that tone,” she said severely, trying to catch his eye.

Holden twitched his face away. _At least she not getting grabby._ “Apparently there is, because you haven't been listening to me.”

She sighed and visibly gathered herself to try a different tack. “A mother is going to worry, if her child's behavior dramatically changes. It's only natural. And when that coincides with a new relationship...especially with someone older...”

_She's not going to let this go, and she's going to blame Bill, because that's easy._ A stab of anxiety twisted in his belly. This was what he had hoped to avoid, a potentially relationship damaging argument. He had been foolish to believe bringing up Stevie and Will would keep her off his back. She was too emotionally invested in retaining control over her son.

“Stop,” he demanded. “Please, stop. Bill isn't manipulating me.” He paused, teetering on the edge of losing his temper. “When I was a child, you punished me for being an omega. That's why Uncle Will blew up at you, and why you cut us off from the rest of the family. You treated heat like an embarrassing medical condition – what do you think that did to me? I wasn't capable of having a long term relationship, because you scared me off from the people I was actually compatible with. You treat my bond bite as something shameful.” 

At some point he stood up without realizing it. He was starting to shake. “When I was in the hospital due to a panic attack, I had them call Bill and not you, because even when we weren't seeing each other, I felt safer with him.” He turned away, his growing anxiety demanding he get out of the situation. “I'm going for a walk. I need to clear my head.”

He blindly pushed past Bill and his father who had come to investigate the disturbance, and he only paused long enough to pull out the small pill case he kept in his pocket and pop a Valium into his mouth. The cold air hit him like a physical blow. He had forgotten his coat. He made it down the driveway and turned left, before Bill grabbed him and pulled him to his chest.

“Stop Holden, it's fucking freezing out here, and you're only wearing a sweater.”

Holden pressed himself into his mate's warmth, his face resting against Bill's neck. He was upset, Holden could smell it, but his spicy alpha scent was still comforting, safe. “Going for my coat would have ruined storming out,” he finally said in a weak attempt at humor. He rapidly began to relax, soothed by Bill's solid presence. Soon the Valium would kick in and make him sleepy, but that was preferable to feeling like his heart was about to beat it's way out of his chest.

“Uh huh.” He rubbed the omega's back. 

“I lost my temper.”

“I don't blame you. You've been putting up with nothing but crap since we got here.” 

“Either my mother is going to leave me alone now, or I've completely destroyed our relationship.” Holden's voice was shaky from cold as he shivered.

“Either way, I can't let you die of exposure. Come on,” he coaxed, gently steering Holden back towards the house. 

“I'm afraid you've made a poor impression on my female parent,” Holden went on, feeling humiliated that the argument had happened and that Bill had been there to witness him blow up.

“I'm sure I'll survive.” He wrapped an arm snugly about his mate partly to keep him warm and partly to keep him moving.

Now everything simmering under the surface for years was out, and Holden didn't really want to face it. He really should have grabbed his coat. _That's nonsensical, I still would've had to go back in eventually._ Holden allowed Bill to move him along back up the driveway and through the door. He tucked his hands under his arms to try to warm them, shivering. His mother and father were sitting at the kitchen table. His father immediately stood, looking concerned.

“Holden, why don't you go lie down and warm up a little,” Bill suggested.

Holden nodded, relieved at the excuse to have a little time to pull himself together without suffering frostbite. He climbed the stairs to the spare bedroom, toed off his shoes and started to crawl into bed. He paused and grabbed Bill's sweatshirt that smelled like him and then curled up with it. He didn't care that he probably looked ridiculous hugging his mate's shirt and burying his face in it. But on the scale of embarrassing things that had happened so far that weekend, behaving like a besotted teenager didn't rank very high. Going from freezing cold to toasty warmth on top of the Valium he had taken left him sleepy, and he fell into a doze.

* * *

As soon as Holden disappeared upstairs, Bill rounded on his parents, Linda in particular. “We need to have the conversation that Holden offered to have with you yesterday morning.” He tried his best to sound like he wasn't angry, because it wouldn't help. He took a deep breath, pulled out a chair and sat down.

“Look, your son is an omega, not a beta. If you grab an omega's face and try and stare them down, it freaks them out. It's aggression, and their natural instinct is to avoid aggression.”

“It is not aggression. Normally, people make eye contact with each other -”

“It doesn't matter if it's meant to be aggressive or not. Instinct says it is, and alphas and betas make eye contact with each other. Omegas typically don't. It's not abnormal, it's just the way they are. Blame evolution if you want. They're typically smaller, and at any time could be carrying a baby. Nature wanted to keep them out of trouble and let the bigger guys duke it out. Omega behavior creates an instinctive reaction in alphas to protect them. It's the same reason they tend to be softer spoken and have different behavioral patterns - to diffuse aggression and be protected. It doesn't matter that it's the twentieth century, and we aren't living in caves. We all work fundamentally the same way now that we did way back when.”

“My son is more than his instincts.” Linda's voice held an edge of frost, though John didn't raise any objections.

“Of course he is. We all are. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have them, and you're creating anxiety by denying that they're there. I know, because he smells distressed. I have instincts too, alpha instincts. So does your brother William – the one you apparently had the fight with. Any decent alpha isn't going to tolerate an omega being hurt. It's why I stepped in when you had your hands in his face the other morning. It's why you aren't on speaking terms with part of your close family.” 

Linda sat rigidly, clearly furious. “Bill, I know you mean well, but don't bring my family into this. You weren't there.” 

“But Holden was, and he's my family now too.”

John put a restraining hand on his wife's arm, clearly uncomfortable with the conflict. “Look, lets all try to calm down. We never had any intention of doing him in any harm – quite the opposite. We just wanted to give him the advantages beta kids have.”

_I believe that was your intention. You just didn't know better. Your fucking bitch of a wife, though. That's something else._ “I'm sure,” Bill said without sarcasm. “But he's a grown man now, and you need to trust that he knows what's best for himself. I'm going to go check on him.”

He found Holden curled up in bed snuggling his sweatshirt, and he couldn't help but smirk. _That is the cutest fucking thing..._ He sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed Holden's ribs and hip, the scent of sleepy omega instantly calming him.

Holden shifted a little, briefly stretching his legs before curling them back up again.“Hmmm...Bill?” 

“Sweetheart, is that my shirt you're drooling on?” He grinned.

“M'not drooling.” Holden surreptitiously wiped his mouth with his hand. “Is everyone still alive down there?”

“Yes, when I came up, they were sitting at the table. We had a little talk.”

Holden groaned and buried his face in the pillow. He eventually resurfaced and rolled over towards Bill. “I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to be stuck in the middle of this.”

“It's not your fault.” _That your mother has more issues than Sports Illustrated._ “I'm glad I came. I don't want you dealing with this bullshit on your own.”

“We have another day here,” Holden half whispered.

“I know, but I don't think she'll be so bad now. She's pissed at me, but she knows she's not getting away with this.” He reached out and gave his mate's hip a firm pat. “Come on, if you're ready to rejoin the world...”

Holden got up and attempted to unrumple himself before proceeding Bill downstairs. The evening passed uneventfully with Bill and John keeping the conversation going, and Holden eventually joining in like his usual self. Though, he shied away a little from his mother. Linda behaved as if everything was normal, but there was a tightness to her expression and manner that suggested she was still upset. _Go ahead, hate me. I can take it. As long as you leave him alone._

* * *

Holden didn't know how to handle the situation he found himself in. His natural inclination was to try and smooth everything over, make sure no one was hurt or upset or disappointed. It's what he had always done living in that house. However, that would mean apologizing to his mother, and that was off the table. If he capitulated like he normally did, then the same situation would come up every time he saw her. He couldn't even soften the blow by keeping up the lie that she had tried her best and meant well. Will and Stevie were right, this wasn't about him, or not in the way his mother led him to believe. This was about keeping up an image and retaining control of her little family. _Maybe because she had no control over the rest of her family,_ he thought. She had always tightly controlled her environment – everything was neat, orderly, kept up.

Young omegas didn't live neat orderly existences. They were inherently sexual creatures. Even if they weren't really ready to mate yet, their bodies were preparing for the big event. Heat was uncontrollable and messy. They acted on incredibly powerful instincts that betas didn't experience. To retain her own orderly world, his mother had to impose order on her son. Now Holden was threatening to destroy that private world she had built by becoming the messy, disorderly omega she didn't want. He was going into heat and getting himself bitten. He was showing instinctive behaviors she didn't understand. There was no way a person could look at him and not automatically assume _omega._ Despite their shared history, Holden wondered how well his mother even knew him.

He eyed her sidelong as he helped dry and put away dishes the next night. “I'm not intending to worry you or cause problems,” he finally said, because the awkward silence was making him crawl out of his skin. He knew Bill was nearby. His mate had been careful not to let his mother ambush him again. “I'm trying to figure out some things about myself and some of the things that happened when I was young.”

“You're still young,” his mother pointed out.

Holden bit back a frustrated sound. “You know what I mean. You're going to have to accept me the way that I am.” He carefully considered his next words. “I have an anxiety disorder. The constant stress of trying to live like a beta is a contributing factor.”

“So it's my fault?”

“I didn't say that. I'm just telling you that things aren't going back to the way they were. They can't...and even if they could, I wouldn't want them too. I don't experience the world like you and Dad do.” He went on, echoing the conversation with Bill and Wendy several weeks before. He fell silent, not sure what else to say.

“Well, you already know how I feel about all of this,” his mother finally said. Her tone wasn't exactly angry, it was closer to the one she used when she disagreed with a decision he made. She usually employed it to inspire guilt. 

_Which doesn't mean she isn't angry, but she probably doesn't want Bill worked up again._ He tried not to feel guilty and reminded himself that the current situation wasn't his fault. He couldn't be the son his mother wanted. He just wasn't that person. His genes had determined that in the womb.

He and Bill went to bed early citing the need to get up for their morning flight home. In reality, Holden just couldn't deal with anymore of the tension and awkwardness that now underlay every interaction with his mother. His father had taken refuge in pretending nothing was the matter, but his mother... “I don't think our relationship is ever going to be the same after this,” Holden said in a whisper to Bill. 

“I'm sorry it turned out like this.” Bill softly kissed his mouth. He tasted like toothpaste, and Holden allowed himself to luxuriate in the feel of his warm mouth and tongue. He broke off the kiss.

“But you aren't surprised.”

“After what you told me? Not in the slightest. It doesn't mean I'm not sorry. Here, turn over.” Bill gave him a gentle nudge. Holden rolled over so Bill could spoon him. “There maybe hope for your father.”

“Maybe. He'll do whatever he can to keep the peace, which is mostly staying out of it and trying to calm Mom down.” 

The next morning Holden gingerly hugged his mother goodbye, unsure of where they stood. His father drove them to the airport. “I know things got tense,” he began. “But it was good to see you, and nice to meet you, Bill.” He shook hands with the alpha and turned back to his son. “She'll calm down. It's just a shock for her, that's all.”

“I'm sure,” Holden replied. 

“It shouldn't be a shock,” he said to Bill as they wound their way through airport to their gate. “She should have been somewhat prepared after I saw them last.” He was sad, hurt, and starting to feel mutinous. Bill glanced at him and reached out to take his hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze in response. 

“Anyway... I'm finished with it. She isn't going to get what she wants from me, and she'll have to decide what she's going to do with that.”

* * *

“How was your holiday?” Wendy asked Monday morning.

Holden took a moment to consider how to answer. “Well, I've irreparably damaged the relationship with my mother, but on the other hand, she and Bill didn't kill each other, so it's a draw.”

Wendy raised an eyebrow. “That bad?”

“It wasn't exactly good...” He grabbed his coffee and made his way back to his desk, not wanting to go further into it.

Being home helped. Being at work helped. Being back to what had become his normal life, definitely helped. He wasn't sure what he had expected from the visit – not much, but at the same time there had been some bit of hope that his mother might have learned a little more understanding and compassion. That little flame of hope had been completely extinguished. Looking back, the days of playing the beta seemed like something from another lifetime, even if it wasn't so long ago. _A lot has happened since then._ He took some solace in the fact that he liked his life as it was and didn't want to go back. There was always a chance that his mother would come around. After all, this was the first time that Holden had truly defied her wishes. But he wasn't going to sit around and worry and wait for something that may or may not come, the ball was in her proverbial court.


End file.
